10 White House Luxuries Obama can Now Use In Private

It makes perfect sense that when it comes to belt-tightening at the White House, the cuts should be for people who don’t actually live there. The White House has just announced that they are cancelling all White House tours due to his sequester, effectively ensuring that the only way you’ll be able to get through the front doors of the White House is to make a $500,000 to Obama’s “non-partisan” political entity Organizing for Action. Here is a list of 10 things Obama will be able to do at the White House now that he doesn’t have to deal with the pesky visitors.

He can always practice his short game on the White House putting green:

He can enjoy the Official White House Honey Ale beer crafted especially for his tastes:

He could taste a piece of this 300 lb. White House scale replica made of gingerbread:

He can wash the 412 limos in the federal government’s fleet:

He could catch a movie in his private movie theater:

He could go bowling in the White House bowling alley:

He could shoot hoops at his own personal basketball court:

He could always leave the White House on one of his many trips on Air Force One:

And go on a nice golf trip:

Or maybe a vacation to Hawaii:

Whatever activity he chooses — remember, protecting funding for it is more important than letting other people into the most open White House in history.