The Grinch who regulated Christmas

If you need proof that government run amok is the worst thing ever, look no further than Mayor Greg Stanton’s City of Phoenix.

After a new neighbor complained about a family’s Christmas light display that’s been a neighborhood attraction for 30 years, Greg the Grinch got to work killing the Christmas spirit.

According to the family, first Greg slapped the holiday revelers with a zoning violation for selling cocoa and Christmas cookies without his permission. Then, he mandated the family pay for six traffic cops with reflective vests to direct cars on their street. In response, the family has given up on decorating this year – and are asking for donations to hire a lawyer to sue the city instead.

Since Greg the Grinch clearly won’t rest until Christmas is gone for good, here are some other holiday offenses he should get to work stopping as soon as possible:

• Off-key Christmas caroling
• Offensively ugly Christmas sweaters
• Milk and cookie robbery from family mantles
• Re-gifting last year’s unwanted Christmas socks
• Failure to maintain proper reindeer landing strips for Phoenix residences
• Wrapping paper littering on living room floors
• Excessive snow globe shaking
• Dangerously hot apple cider
• Fruitcake of any form or fashion

Get to work, Greg!