Birthday gifts for #TradingTom Malinowski
September 23, 2021
It’s Tom Malinowski’s birthday!!
In honor of this momentous day, here are some birthday gift ideas for our favorite Taliban sympathizer and corrupt stock trader:
1.
Stock Act for Dummies book so #TradingTom can be sure not to violate federal law again!
2.
An ethics investigation into Malinowski’s crooked stock trades! Thanks to the House Ethics Committee for checking this one off the list.
3.
An all expense trip to Afghanistan so Malinowski can hang out with the Taliban leaders that he helped release from GITMO. Afterall, they are “innocent” right, Tom?
Happy Birthday, #TradingTom! We hope it’s a blast!