Creepy Bobby’s Filthy Past Exposed, Cue the Crybaby Meltdown

August 6, 2026

Oh uh! Creepy Bobby Pulido is tired of his revolting past following him around.

According to a new report, Pulido issued a pathetic blanket apology so reporters would “never ask” him again, whining that he cannot continue revisiting every scandal.

Here is what Creepy Bobby desperately wants South Texas families to forget:

“Creepy Bobby Pulido is a thin-skinned coward, furious that he got caught and that the world is finally seeing what a disgusting creep he is. His whining is pathetic, his campaign is filthy, and in November, South Texas will scrape this creep off the bottom of its boot.” – NRCC Spokesman Christian Martinez